Geek Redefines COBOL

Man.  Even though there's documentation and everything, nobody's still quite sure what to make of this.

Almost

Seven people came to the supplemental meeting today.  If only one more had shown up, there would have been eight.

Geeks Solve Mystery of Life

Well, one of them, anyway.

In the aftermath of Phyllis's infamous Pencil Rant of 2011, the geeks conducted a totally subjective and unscientific test wherein Phyllis graciously agreed to evaluate thirteen randomly selected lead pencils for hardness, smoothness, and overall good pencilhood.  She assigned each test pencil a score ranging from 1 ("Not Acceptable - No Good") to 5 ("Great - I want one").  She then compared the three pencils with scores of 5 to select an overall winner.

WHEREAS, the geeks are generally a peaceful group, seeking only to make their way in the world without a lot of fuss, and
WHEREAS, the previous state of uncertainty about lead pencil selection did result in some fuss that could have been avoided had we only known at the time which pencils were best, and
WHEREAS, as a result of the recent test, we now know without any doubt which pencils are best, and
WHEREAS, it seems like if we used just that one kind of pencil, at least on Tuesdays, we could possibly avoid some measure of future fuss, at least where lead pencil selection is concerned but maybe not in other areas;
NOW THEREFORE, let it be proclaimed that the Official Lead Pencil of Geek Pizza is henceforth and forever the Staples #2 Yellow Pencil, available in boxes of twelve as Model 10504-CC, online or in Staples stores nationwide.  Accordingly, all future Geek Pizza documents shall be drafted, executed, and maintained using Staples #2 Yellow Pencils. Further, geeks with some tragic character flaw that leads them to prefer some other kind of pencil should just try to keep quiet about it.

Geek Models Reflective Eyewear

If just being a geek isn't flashy enough for you, maybe these glasses will help.  Then again, maybe they won't.